Australia Sucks

Its been four months now, and I would be lying if I said I was starting to like it here or that it was beginning to feel like home. What is it specifically that I hate....well, the heat for sure. We are on day 19 of temps above 35 degree's ( 95 degrees in the real world), and I'm not sure we have had a day below 89 degrees in 4 months...its getting old.



the bugs, the spiders, the giant lizards my neighbors cat keeps leaving in my back yard. The weird people, the lack of friends and family..I could go on, but then I would be whining.



The biggest issue, is that this place makes me feel totally flustered and inept a great deal of the time. I normally consider myself a pretty capable person, I mean I have managed pretty well in life until now. I can mow the grass if needed, work a weed eater, change a light bulb, air up a tire, lower the kids bike seats, travel through crowded airports with kids, paint a decent picture, follow a recipe...you know, I can do stuff.

Here....I can't even check the mail, because I can't reach the box. Well I can reach it, but I can't See the dial to turn the combination, and I can't even remember the combination anyway.



I'm also still not that great of a driver or Parker, parallel parking did not get any easier, when my car got smaller as I thought it would.



I still don't know my way around all that well....sure I can get to the school, target, Kmart, the grocery store and the ballet studio....but I got lost trying to find the YMCA on wed, I just could not find the damn place, and it pissed me off. We drove around for so long, the fuel light came on, and damn if I could find a Gas station....there are only like 2 in this town, and I couldn't remember where either of them were.
I finally did find one, with ancient looking pumps, and of course I tried to pay before I pumped, like you do in normal countries...and of course the attendants laughed at me, and rolled his eyes.On normal cars you just open the fuel door, but in weirdo Australia there is a button inside the car to do this, and in the REAL world people don't steal your gas pump while you are trying to find said stupid button. And in the real world, the stupid pump won't squirt gas unless you have the nozzle properly situated into the tank right? Not here.
So of course I sprayed gasoline all over my entire body and the car. At this point I may or may not have dropped the F-BOMB a few times, and shouted at my kids to shut up, when they asked me what was wrong. and I may or may not have screamed like a lunatic and clawed at my face when a fly kept landing on it while I tried to drive home, sobbing and fuel-soaked.





and certainly, NEVER EVER in the real world is there a TARANTULA in your car, after you pick up your kid from school. But here....there is.

I'm just not sure about this place....

I'm a terrible Mother

Last night in our nightly dinner battle, the one where at least one of my children refuses to eat what I cooked, Noah was excused from the table and sent to bed early. After everyone was finished and the kitchen was clean I could still hear him wailing and whimpering, because no one had tucked him in. So I scooped him off the floor, swaddled him in his softie and climbed in to bed next to him. Then I brushed his hair with a little barbie brush until he fell asleep. Because he likes that. I'm a terrible Mother.

Taylor Grace

Ode to Taylor-

Bio- Born September 27, 2002 at Wright Patterson Air Force Base by emergency c-section, after 27 hours of grueling back Labor, Taylor was born weighing a hefty 8lbs 2 oz, and was 19 inches long. My most memorable moments of Taylor's birthday are hearing her cry the first time, whilst lying on the O.R table with tears pouring down my face.. And being so surprised that she was so pretty, seriously the kid was born looking like an Olive skinned cherub, with little rosebud lips to boot. I had expected a little wrinkled old man newborn....not this kid, I should have known right away of the girly-ness that would only grow as time went on.

Interesting facts about Taylor

- The kid HATES mashed potatoes, and always has. She wretched the first time I tried to feed them to her, at 9 months old, and she still wretches. This gag reflex has grown to include most types of vegtables as well.

- She can put her feet on top of her head, this may be a useful trick to hold on too.

- She is quite the Social Butterfly at Our Lady of the Sacred Heart College, each day as I drop her off or pick her up, I hear a chorus of...Hi Tay-lor, Bye Taylor, and little girls of all shapes and sizes run to hug her, or grab her hand and drag her off.

- She loves snakes and reptiles, and jumps at the chance to hold such creepy crawlies given the chance...much to my dismay.

- She didn't walk until she was 15 months old, out of sheer stubborn-ness, When I tried to get her to take a step she would throw her self on the ground, and launch into a dramatic tantrum, this was a prelude to the future obstacles I would face as her Mother. When she finally did decide to walk, she simply stood up and started strolling around, no shaky first steps, no toddling about, she looked as though she had been walking for years....Taylor still prefers to do only things she can excel at immediately, and gets frustrated when she has to actually try or practice. But once she gets the hang of it, she rises to professional levels at astounding speeds.

- She can be sweet, stubborn,dramatic, reverent, sassy, intelligent and understanding, ditsy and ridiculous...all in the same day, she constantly keeps me on my toes, challenges my parenting ability to new levels everyday, and makes our lives a lot more interesting.

My recent favorite Taylorism- After being asked to come in from playing for Dinner, and responding to me in a less than obedient manner, she was sent to her room for some quiet refection ie; time out. She emerged wailing dramatically, tears streaming spouting " I'm no good, I'm not good enough to live, I should never have been born...I can't do anything...wahhaaahaha".

Had I not experienced this kind of Oscar worthy performance before, I would have been alarmed my my mini-manic depressive drama queen, but because I am her mother, and I know her. I simply told her to shut down the drama factory immediately,That silliness was not going to help her avoid punishments, gave her a hug, told her I loved her more than life, and to go eat her chicken. It, of course worked, and she was happily gabbing through the rest of dinner.

Last week she convinced her little brother that she had a " poisonous marker" in her room, that could kill you if you got its ink on your skin. Of course she threatened to write on him with it if he didn't get out of her room, sending him screaming in terror...

And life goes on......

I'm certain it is a bit Narcissistic of me to expect life to pause, cease to change and stand still for the three years that we are away, but I wish it would. I hate to miss anything, and sometimes I feel as though we are missing everything as life goes on with our family and friends back home.

My Brother had his first baby earlier this week, and I am not there to hug and spoil and kiss my new nephew, to pass on words of motherly advice to my sister in law who is also expecting her first baby this summer.

I suppose our families feel the same way, while we are here the kids continue to grow, to change and celebrate birthdays and holidays...by the time we come home Taylor will be 9 years old, and Noah a 6 year old first grader. I can't even conceive of how they will be changed, and it makes me sad and happy all at the same time.

I'm trying to savour every moment that passes, record and archive it all, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Because like it or not life goes on....