Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Body Talk

Does you body speak to you? When you are abusing it or neglecting your God given temple, does it let you know? Mine does, subtlety, not in a creepy old testament kind of way. - though that would be funny, I can only imagine what mine would say..

Bottom- " Get thee to the gym woman, seriously we are growing to large and long back here...

My Liver would whisper- " hey Lady, the FDA recommends ONE glass of red wine per day...not 12."

Ears- "Yes, it is possible to listen to the Twilight sound track too loudly while cleaning...."

okay, but that is not what I was talking about, My body whispers to me, nudges me to give it what it needs, and then screams, moans and creaks if I ignore the subtle whispers.

Today it was in the form of a craving, A little inclination that I had been over doing the " low fat" aspect of my recent diet. My body needed fat, energy, and no ordinary fat at that, I needed something whole, pure and indulgently fatty. I searched the cupboards, ate a few walnuts. when that didn't do the trick, I considered Shortening, - it was the mouth feel, I wanted, but certainly not the flavor...besides, we don't keep Crisco in the house- and I'm not dressed to visit Horny Devils boutique today ( don't ask)

Finally I settled on a perfectly ripe, perfectly shaped Avocado, chock full of fatty acids and with a delicious buttery velvet texture. A simple sprinkling of salt and squirt of lime, and I dug in.
I should have stopped after a few bites, it was rich, but I don't do anything halfway-and besides it was good! I devoured the entire thing. And now I feel a bit nauseated, but I can't throw up, because imagine what that would look like, spewing baby poo from my mouth, it would make me vomit-Again. And the cycle would continue, forever.

Are you wondering why we are friends right now? I thought so.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Boobs, Boobs and more Boobs

Ive had quite an education in breastfeeding and Nursing in public since moving to Alice, if you know me, you know I am a champion of breastfeeding, and advocate of nursing in public,nursing in general, how ever you like, for as long as you like. I thought I was up on my breastfeeding 101.

It is uncommon to walk more than a block here in Alice, with out being exposed to some form of nudity or indecency...a man in his underwear by the side of the road, some one taking a pee on a tree by the river, little naked kids playing in a puddle outside a town camp, you name it I;ve seen it.

I have, however been exposed to an entirely new kind of nursing in public. Be honest, most nursing mothers have accidentally flashed an unsuspecting old lady, or startled gentleman in the mall, at a restaurant, or what ever...we simply blush, smile, and promptly get back to feedin our squalling babes. There's not much that can be done about it, short of wearing a Birka or one of those cape like nursing aprons, breasts are natural and beautiful and people can just get ahold of themselves about it.

I love the natural parenting vibe in Australia, the low key, approach to parenting and childbirth...I have however reached my limits in viewing natural parenting. The local indigenous people here, seem to be very " breast is best" oriented, this I love. The culture has enough things to overcome, I delight in seeing Moms and nursing babies nearly anywhere...

But these Aboriginal Moms have come up with a NIP tactic I have yet to see before now, lets call it the " Pull your giant boobie out of your collar, and let it hang there" style. Imagine, a breast as big as your head, Nipples the size of dinner plates, swinging gently in the breeze, or in the check out isle, where ever. Sometimes there is a hungry baby or toddler blocking most of this interesting view, often not, no matter...let them hang...the poor check out man, nearly drops the milk trying not to stare, who can blame him, I can't stop either...I actually would like to snap a photo...

its like a little piece of National Geographic right in your front yard. Its hard not to oggle, or at least elbow your husband, who after the 10th time has lost interest in giant swinging boobies. I just can't get over it. Its not exactly obscene, but fascinating.

My kids are past the shock and awe, but Noah still likes to point on occasion, last week in church he asked me LOUDLY " Mama, do you still have milk in your boobies?" I shook my head and tried not to melt into the pew... then he declared " Every one loves boobs" Amen, thank God for Boobs.

So I'm obviously already neglecting this blog....so much for new and improved. I'm in a funk, seriously, and I can't manage to snap my self out of it-I know what I want to do, what I should be doing, how I want to behave, but most days I wake up and -ugh- the funk prevails.

Everyone keeps telling me to " hang in there" and " just give it time" and I am, I swear...but by Gosh I'm gettin older here, and I just want to go home. I'm over my desire for adventure, I think. I'm at least over Alice. I fantasise about how if I just snapped out of it, and did x y, z...we would all be fine, but that's a fantasy, and the reality -bites.

Chad is back to shift work, which I hate, we literally never see him during his set, even on days he doesn't get home til 8:30, the kids are in bed, and I'm cranky, starving and tired by then, on night shifts, he sleeps all day, and has to leave early to get some gym time in, so we live for the off set, like some people live for weekends. I was spoiled by the cushy day shift he had in Denver, no nights, no weekends, and no Holidays and home by 5pm most nights..

enough whining? okay me too.

I hope everyone in the states is having a great Easter, we did! On Friday. With my magical Mommy wand, I was able to re-arrange time and space to accommodate my husbands work schedule, and produce an Easter fest we could all be in on. I did forget that it was good Friday, and that put the kibosh on my grand Easter dinner plan, Honey baked Easter fish is just not as appealing. Chad and I dutifully hid the eggs Thursday night, and assembled the obscene amount of toys in, around, behind and near the kids baskets...and went to bed.

We expected to awake to squeals of glee in the am, but since Noah snuck in bed with us sometime in the night, we all slept in. He must have made a detour on his journey down the hall to sneak a peek, because Chad said he opened his eyes, looked over and Whispered " I got a triceratops" and bolted from the bed. He woke up his sister, and they dumped candy, toys and Easter grass all over the table, while I fixed coffee and breakfast.

Only after consuming our body weight in chocolate, did we decided to hunt eggs.

After the last egg was found, we made some phone calls home using our new vonage phone, and lazed around. We went to the park....then to this little hole in the wall fish and chips joint for some take away to bring back to the park, man this place was the BOMB, for when ever you are trying to induce weight gain, irritable bowl syndrome or simply induce a coronary...anything you want fried, they got it. awesome french fries, fish, chicken, spring rolls, fried corn, deep fried hot dogs, bananas, pineapple,the works. and it was pretty cheap too. love it! now if they would just add fried cheese, snickers and Twinkies to the menu, I could promptly gain 800lbs.

After the park we went out to the telegraph station ( a picnic type park, with trails) to walk off some of our food, spotted some kangaroo's and then came home greasy, fat and exhausted. It was a good day.
We had another unexpected visitor, this time IN the house....thank you to my commenter who pointed out this is NOT in fact a tarantula, but a huntsman spider, but between you and me any spider bigger than a hamburger is in fact, a tarantula.

The kids and I celebrated " real Easter" today, by dyeing, and coloring eggs, watching movies, and playing in the yard. I have a ham in the crock pot all drowning in brown sugar...add some Kraft Mac and cheese ( a luxury item round here) and some other fixins, and Easter dinner it is!

these are " hot rock" eggs, I found the idea from THE CRAFTY CROW a crafting blog, I love and aspire to use more. We are going to try this with rocks too soon. Basically you dye some eggs, and while they are still burning hot color on them with crayons, and then sprinkle some crayon shavings on top, I popped our back in the oven for a few secs to melt them a little more. A quick layer of modge podge or lacquer keeps them shiny, I didn't have any, so FYI cooking spray works too.

Hope you all have an exhausting, fat and happy Easter too!