Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Bottom- " Get thee to the gym woman, seriously we are growing to large and long back here...
My Liver would whisper- " hey Lady, the FDA recommends ONE glass of red wine per day...not 12."
Ears- "Yes, it is possible to listen to the Twilight sound track too loudly while cleaning...."
okay, but that is not what I was talking about, My body whispers to me, nudges me to give it what it needs, and then screams, moans and creaks if I ignore the subtle whispers.
Today it was in the form of a craving, A little inclination that I had been over doing the " low fat" aspect of my recent diet. My body needed fat, energy, and no ordinary fat at that, I needed something whole, pure and indulgently fatty. I searched the cupboards, ate a few walnuts. when that didn't do the trick, I considered Shortening, - it was the mouth feel, I wanted, but certainly not the flavor...besides, we don't keep Crisco in the house- and I'm not dressed to visit Horny Devils boutique today ( don't ask)
Finally I settled on a perfectly ripe, perfectly shaped Avocado, chock full of fatty acids and with a delicious buttery velvet texture. A simple sprinkling of salt and squirt of lime, and I dug in.
I should have stopped after a few bites, it was rich, but I don't do anything halfway-and besides it was good! I devoured the entire thing. And now I feel a bit nauseated, but I can't throw up, because imagine what that would look like, spewing baby poo from my mouth, it would make me vomit-Again. And the cycle would continue, forever.
Are you wondering why we are friends right now? I thought so.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
It is uncommon to walk more than a block here in Alice, with out being exposed to some form of nudity or indecency...a man in his underwear by the side of the road, some one taking a pee on a tree by the river, little naked kids playing in a puddle outside a town camp, you name it I;ve seen it.
I have, however been exposed to an entirely new kind of nursing in public. Be honest, most nursing mothers have accidentally flashed an unsuspecting old lady, or startled gentleman in the mall, at a restaurant, or what ever...we simply blush, smile, and promptly get back to feedin our squalling babes. There's not much that can be done about it, short of wearing a Birka or one of those cape like nursing aprons, breasts are natural and beautiful and people can just get ahold of themselves about it.
I love the natural parenting vibe in Australia, the low key, approach to parenting and childbirth...I have however reached my limits in viewing natural parenting. The local indigenous people here, seem to be very " breast is best" oriented, this I love. The culture has enough things to overcome, I delight in seeing Moms and nursing babies nearly anywhere...
But these Aboriginal Moms have come up with a NIP tactic I have yet to see before now, lets call it the " Pull your giant boobie out of your collar, and let it hang there" style. Imagine, a breast as big as your head, Nipples the size of dinner plates, swinging gently in the breeze, or in the check out isle, where ever. Sometimes there is a hungry baby or toddler blocking most of this interesting view, often not, no matter...let them hang...the poor check out man, nearly drops the milk trying not to stare, who can blame him, I can't stop either...I actually would like to snap a photo...
its like a little piece of National Geographic right in your front yard. Its hard not to oggle, or at least elbow your husband, who after the 10th time has lost interest in giant swinging boobies. I just can't get over it. Its not exactly obscene, but fascinating.
My kids are past the shock and awe, but Noah still likes to point on occasion, last week in church he asked me LOUDLY " Mama, do you still have milk in your boobies?" I shook my head and tried not to melt into the pew... then he declared " Every one loves boobs" Amen, thank God for Boobs.
The kids and I celebrated " real Easter" today, by dyeing, and coloring eggs, watching movies, and playing in the yard. I have a ham in the crock pot all drowning in brown sugar...add some Kraft Mac and cheese ( a luxury item round here) and some other fixins, and Easter dinner it is!
these are " hot rock" eggs, I found the idea from THE CRAFTY CROW a crafting blog, I love and aspire to use more. We are going to try this with rocks too soon. Basically you dye some eggs, and while they are still burning hot color on them with crayons, and then sprinkle some crayon shavings on top, I popped our back in the oven for a few secs to melt them a little more. A quick layer of modge podge or lacquer keeps them shiny, I didn't have any, so FYI cooking spray works too.
Hope you all have an exhausting, fat and happy Easter too!
Thursday, March 26, 2009
the bugs, the spiders, the giant lizards my neighbors cat keeps leaving in my back yard. The weird people, the lack of friends and family..I could go on, but then I would be whining.
The biggest issue, is that this place makes me feel totally flustered and inept a great deal of the time. I normally consider myself a pretty capable person, I mean I have managed pretty well in life until now. I can mow the grass if needed, work a weed eater, change a light bulb, air up a tire, lower the kids bike seats, travel through crowded airports with kids, paint a decent picture, follow a recipe...you know, I can do stuff.
Here....I can't even check the mail, because I can't reach the box. Well I can reach it, but I can't See the dial to turn the combination, and I can't even remember the combination anyway.
I'm also still not that great of a driver or Parker, parallel parking did not get any easier, when my car got smaller as I thought it would.
I still don't know my way around all that well....sure I can get to the school, target, Kmart, the grocery store and the ballet studio....but I got lost trying to find the YMCA on wed, I just could not find the damn place, and it pissed me off. We drove around for so long, the fuel light came on, and damn if I could find a Gas station....there are only like 2 in this town, and I couldn't remember where either of them were.
I finally did find one, with ancient looking pumps, and of course I tried to pay before I pumped, like you do in normal countries...and of course the attendants laughed at me, and rolled his eyes.On normal cars you just open the fuel door, but in weirdo Australia there is a button inside the car to do this, and in the REAL world people don't steal your gas pump while you are trying to find said stupid button. And in the real world, the stupid pump won't squirt gas unless you have the nozzle properly situated into the tank right? Not here.
So of course I sprayed gasoline all over my entire body and the car. At this point I may or may not have dropped the F-BOMB a few times, and shouted at my kids to shut up, when they asked me what was wrong. and I may or may not have screamed like a lunatic and clawed at my face when a fly kept landing on it while I tried to drive home, sobbing and fuel-soaked.
and certainly, NEVER EVER in the real world is there a TARANTULA in your car, after you pick up your kid from school. But here....there is.
I'm just not sure about this place....
Monday, March 23, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Ode to Taylor-
Last week she convinced her little brother that she had a " poisonous marker" in her room, that could kill you if you got its ink on your skin. Of course she threatened to write on him with it if he didn't get out of her room, sending him screaming in terror...
Thursday, March 19, 2009
My Brother had his first baby earlier this week, and I am not there to hug and spoil and kiss my new nephew, to pass on words of motherly advice to my sister in law who is also expecting her first baby this summer.
I suppose our families feel the same way, while we are here the kids continue to grow, to change and celebrate birthdays and holidays...by the time we come home Taylor will be 9 years old, and Noah a 6 year old first grader. I can't even conceive of how they will be changed, and it makes me sad and happy all at the same time.
I'm trying to savour every moment that passes, record and archive it all, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Because like it or not life goes on....
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
So get ready my few, but loyal readers. I am back.